The Memories She Craves Make Her Sick As Well.

January 23rd, 2019

I get lost in a haze, the cravings I have for you…
Your eyes say it all, they tell me you want me too.
Dancing under the dark night skies, our bodies were so close together.
That moment went with scents of your cologne and the utmost perfect weather.

“Hello!” All of a sudden I realized I was in a classroom. The teacher had stood there yelling at me.
But, just a few minutes ago.. Me and you were just dancing..

I had only been day dreaming…

Shortly later on that same day,
In a trance I was, In a deep twisted haze.

There you stood, my favorite flowers in your hand.
In the background water was trickling, candles lit every where.. You had stuck out your hand.
You helped me undress and had pulled me close to your body.
With the way you’re breathing down my neck, and how you started touching me softly..

Thrown back into reality due to a scent of something burning.
I glance around for something familiar and my stomach begins turning.

I’m a dreamer, a dreamer of all types.
When will my dreams become my reality?

Things were blurry and my body was cold, my vision became clear.
As I glance around looking for you, my mind and body was full of fear.
A vision of you laying on that tiled floor, you looked as if you were sleeping.
I walked cautiously to you, for we hadn’t been speaking.

I had put my fingertips on the precious skin of your neck.
Little had I known, this moment I will never forget..

Laid your dead body, why didn’t you speak of this..
Next to your body, a black rose and a letter that went like this…

Lovely,

When you read this letter, I will be long gone. Gone For Ever.
Just know you can now have your freedom, now and forever.

Oh yes, do you hear what I’m saying to you.
The way you had belittled me….

You constantly putting me down, making me feel so small.
The way you lied to me constantly sneaking off with him, but telling me you were at the mall.

Now that I am gone your problems will vanish away.
I made you fall, you told every one. Now what do you say?

You knew the way I loved her, I knew the way you loved me.
I know how that truly hurt you.
Now your heart can roam free….

Suicide, he had ended his life. He chose to overdose.
Three empty prescription pill bottles laid close to the letter and black rose.

I blame myself for the tragedy of that day.
I had been a horrible person. The messed up head games I would always play.

I enjoyed toying with ones thoughts.
I played with everyone’s souls, like they were my rag dolls.

I ran wild with the captured hearts of others, making their thoughts collide every where.
He had been calling silently out for help he was ready to die and overcome the suicide fear.

Forever I carry the burden of these memories of pain..
You overtake my mind instantly every time it begins to rain…

Falling raindrops…
Falling thoughts.
Falling my body.
Falling teardrops.
Falling in hell.
Falling so well…

-AP

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